KAYA : HOME

KAYA:HOME

August 31st - October 12th

KAYA (Debo Eilers & Kerstin Brätsch)

Text by Ciccio & Marie Karlberg:

girl on the beach talking on the phone:

actually I look back

and I think wait

you knew so much

I didn’t even really fully appreciate it

honestly back then I wasn’t even thinking

I was just like

but like

he’s not

like continuing the conversation

you know what I mean

I felt like kind of

used

but I realize

your so…

you actually know music incredibly well!

boy on the other end of the phone: inaudible

girl:

no i think you do

no no no you definitely do

like I swear to god I

have not met…

I’ve gone to record stores with plenty of people

and none of them have like

genuinely been interested in like knowing so many artists.

I don’t know

thats what I think

but what’s my point

but what’s my point aussie

I don’t know

but

listen

I want to be your friend

whether you like it or not

because I decided I’m going to be your friend

because I see so much potential

so much potential

and you know don’t be scared of like older kids

like I know you were like that in high school

and was like oh my god like david jr. just did…

I’m like fuck that.

I’ve talked to adults

you’ve talked to adults all your life

like you know…

boy: inaudible

girl:

but why are you laughing its true

boy: inaudible

girl:

no it’s nothing you did

its what I… I guess

listen aussie listen

I guess I just like changed

I thought like literally

I was kind of in a bad place

I took a year off

because

honestly

I was not in the best place

mentally

and I could not stop

smoking, I was in a really bad place

and like um don’t tell this to other people I

I just like

I literally like

stoped

I don’t even know how to describe it

I was like

and then I realized

like I became really really depressed

and then

what else happened

and then I took the year off

and then I went

you see

everything had changed

but then like

I kinda just

when i was younger

like I loved Jane Austen

you know

I genuinely did

I loved her

because

she was so

she was so like

just herself

you know

she was

hmm

I don’t know what i’m trying to say

but i guess i just thought about you because

I really thought

I mean I think you’re a really cool person

and I respect…

boy: in audible

girl:

wait you can’t hear me…

boy: inaudible

girl:

no what I’m trying to say is

I think you are really cool

and I saw that with you

and I saw that with the T’s

and I know

like so many

like high school kids

all these like random kids and they’re like ‘oh yeah bro there’s that guy’

like they don’t have much substance

like they just like

I don’t even know

or like at least not like where they show it

but you

you do.

all the kids in my high school

like i can tell you

i look back and like

all of them

but this might be different from you

but in my high school

it was like all

I’m gonna be honest

it was a bunch of

like really rich spoiled brats

so like obviously thats like different

but i was like

oh god

I have to fit in

I came from europe

and like I wasn’t used to it

and then I like

started buying

and like trying to fit in

trying to

but then I’m like why am I trying to fit in

I was so insecure

all the time

and it didn’t really do any good

and i think

honestly

I think you are insecure

but i think thats fine

I’m insecure too

but I

everyone is

but I think that like

I’m just gonna say it

I’m gonna be your friend

and i’m gonna actually try to help you

like honestly tell you what I think

so i’m gonna say one thing

ok if your trying

this is from a girls perspective

this is from a girl who’s had experience

I’ve had a boyfriend for a few years

like I know

if you want a girl like whose had a boyfriend or not

that doesn’t matter

if you want a girl

you have to go after her

you don’t have to go after her but you have to like make her feel special

you know?

you have to

like i remember

I had to ask you

I was like oh

do you like that girl on instagram?

I know that was really superficial

like its just like what she looks like

but you met her in person

and you liked her

she was nice

I remember saying like well

like what are you gonna do

and I was just thinking

at the time I didn’t really think that much about it

but I looked back

and I remember you were like

like yeah if I run into her maybe in like six months

then no

why do you wait

right?

boy: inaudible

girl:

yeah and thats ok

thats fine

but I’m just saying

thats perfectly fine

but I’m just saying

thats the thing

I’m the one who

whose saying go

like everyone doesn’t know what to expect

and thats like the beauty of it

you don’t have to be worried about

like oh are kids gonna like me cause

the right ones are gonna like you

people of substance like that see

like that your really cool

even

your so much cooler than like most kids in my high school

they all

all they talked about was like

no this was fine but

all they were talking about

is like oh who was hot

oh like was like that was it

and like oh

what does he do that was none of it

none of it

and like

I don’t know

I mean

like I guess

even if you wanted to casually hook up with someone

I still think like

you should

you should make them feel special

and you shouldn’t like say

oh yeah I just wanna hook up with like someone casually

like when you said that

that was like such a turn off

and I didn’t want a relationship

at all

I like would’ve been fine with like

honestly like

I dunno if you even meant me

but that doesn’t really matter (laughter)

that doesn’t really matter

the point is

the point is aussie

the point is

I will try to help you

cause I do think you have

yea

I think you’re

a really

cool person

and

just know that you already have one friend

who genuinely

thinks that your interesting

and like

honestly before

I was like trying to be a different person

I was wearing like topless shirts no i wasn’t topless i mean braless shirts

and I was like trying to be cool

like wearing ripped jeans

and like thats why like

I was just trying to be someone I wasn’t

because I was like confused

like I was like I didn’t know

and thats fine too

but like

just own it

you know

so when I like

when a girl asks you like

‘oh so like what are you interested in’

you say like what your interested in

don’t just like ‘oh I don’t know’

I’m not really

honestly just like

as if you were talking to any of your friends

and if they

and if they understand

like they’re the ones who you should be looking out for

cause like

it doesn’t matter if you like want a relationship or

nothing

like thats not the point

like if you want to like get a girl

then you

have to be confident

you don’t have to go after her

but you just have to know what you want

and you have to like make her feel

special

because like all these girls

all my friends

they all like

honestly

they all like

I’ll give you an example from like a girls perspective

in my experience

they all just talk about guys that are hot

‘oh he’s hot, oh he’s hot, oh he’s hot’

but like

and I was the same way

I was like yeah

aussie’s really attractive

and like

I did actually like

that you were

like a musician and everything

but like yes

I like think you are very attractive

and I don’t think

yeah

I don’t think your confident enough

and I think thats something you should work on

I know you’re shaking your head

I know it’s hard.

boy: inaudible

girl:

no its fine

its totally fine

honestly aussie its totally fine

its a lot to take in

but

just know that I have good intentions for you

because I know what it’s like

yeah but

how are you?

(laughs)

no but how are you though?

how is everything? no tell me.

I’m curious

how’ve you been?

boy: inaudible

girl:

you did?

boy: inaudible

girl:

no I don’t care

I have time

i’m at the beach

you know honestly i don’t even like to go swimming

I like to just sit

and like think

so (laughs)

see I told you I was weird

no I’m gonna help you

(laughs) ok.

boy: inaudible

girl:

show me

boy: inaudible

girl:

ok I’m gonna be honest

who is he again ?

I forget

boy: inaudible

girl:

yeah but what?

Is he a rapper? I honestly don’t know

I don’t really follow…

boy: inaudible

girl:

let me write that down

I’m actually interested

whats the name?

boy: inaudible

girl:

cause honestly aussie I don’t really listen to new stuff

cause its kind of interesting to learn

but um ok keep going.

boy: inaudible

girl:

so what time period is that?

Is that like greenday vibes

like red hot chilli peppers

like what vibes is it?

boy: inaudible

girl:

oh guess what

you know Parcels

oh I showed it to you

remember?

boy: inaudible

girl:

why did you say it was folky?

it’s so beatles vibes.

boy: inaudible

girl:

Is it?

you really think thats all that is

but its so much more than that

think about how they are so like vintage looking

they are so like their own person

The Parcels

it’s like these 5 kids that like

kinda like the beatles

they are like kinda foreign

they are like interesting

they have their own style

like don’t you feel like all these rappers

like kinda merge into one?

don’t you feel like

like who sticks out to you?

boy: inaudible

girl:

but aussie ok

I don’t care about the tech

I don’t care about the

I ask you

what what

ok like

whats your favorite song

do you have one?

boy: inaudible

girl:

what song do you like really relate to?

goy: inaudible

girl:

doesn’t matter

I wanna hear it

I wanna know

I want you to tell me so I can write it down

something that is actually really like moving to you.

goy: inaudible

girl:

doesn’t matter

whats the song.

boy: inaudible

girl:

see! (snaps)

see this is it

when a girl asks you a question it’s good to have an answer

right

it’s good to have one answer

like what’s your favorite song, but like a genuine answer like why right

if you don’t

I guess you can say I don’t know

thats also fine.

goy: inaudible

girl:

ok “Something About Us”

ok that one I’ll listen to that like later

ok honestly

oh god I’m at like 2 percent

umm ok

and the other one is “Itsy ghost” is that a song or like an album?

Boy: inaudible

Girl:

I’ll listen to it

just remember

you have one genuine friend.

And you can honestly act like whatever you want I honestly don’t really care that much

but I will

I will be your real friend

because thats what I decided

and with any one else, honestly

um…who I think has potential.

ok my phone is gonna run out

but I have to go

bye now

bye!

KAYA : HOME

Photos by Nicholas Venezia

KAYA:HOME